Moving on.

I trained as a Primary School teacher at Waikato University. I thoroughly enjoyed it and absolutely loved my first job at Berkley Intermediate (now Middle school) in Hamilton. I then left on my OE in 1996 and ended up teaching in London as a supply teacher. Much of it I enjoyed, however nowhere near as much as my New Zealand experience. Upon moving to France I found myself teaching English to adults, then Lycée and College with the odd primary school intervention. Besides the primary lessons I absolutely hated my experiences. My love of teaching was gone.

After my son N's death, teaching college kids became extremely hard. So many things triggered sudden and extreme sadness; a pair of glasses, a haircut, a look or expression. The list goes on. I'd often have to fight off tears in the middle of a lesson. I couldn't do it any longer.

After being hospitalised for 6 months in 2014/2015 coping with depression, bipolar and PTSD, I gave up teaching. I have done a few relieving stints which are OK, however I'm not allowed to earn too much while on my invalidity allowance. So, I know give English lessons to Adults, Lycée, College and primary kids. I currently have 8 lessons a week and it keeps the old brain ticking over.

In hindsight, without knowing where my life would lead, I chose the wrong career. It's so hard to retrain at the age of 48 here in France. I doubt that my brain could deal with it anyway. I wish that I'd got in to computer science or something similar.

In the meantime my lessons keep me ticking over. I hope to land some more lessons too.

What a bitter sweet thing hindsight is.