Not finished yet...

Le Tour de France à Plumelec.

A voté!

 I didn't actually vote at the Mairie comme d'habitude but at the salle communal. Regional & Departmental elections.

Out & about.

Financial Aide.

 

As anybody who has taken the time to read this blog (all two of you), and/or follows me on Twitter, you will know that I have had serious money issues over the last couple of years. Well at least 5 to be honest. Basically since I have been living by myself. I've mentioned the reasons why I've found myself in this situation, so won't go in to it again.

 

My ex-wife, bless her soul, took it upon herself to find me a social worker who could help me with my problems. I'd had a social worker in the past, appointed by the clinic I was obliged to attend, and to be perfectly honest she was fucking useless. She even went so far as to tell me that I was 50 years old, had nothing of consequence to my name & was basically good for nothing. Not too flash from a social worker.

Anyway, my new social worker, Madame S, is a true legend. I outlined in the last post much of what she has done for me, minus two very important things. They're not to be taken lightly, but I feel like sharing as it's going to be all about how I'll be living for the forseeable future. 

 I have been accorded what is called a dossier de surendettement. The name in itself shows you just how diar my financial situation was. Why am I writing about this? One, because it is an absolute miracle in my life at this time, after 10 years of hell. I shall be forever grateful to the powers that be who accorded this. It basically means that all of my debts have been wiped. Incredible, but true. Lierally, quite literall a life saver. I was on the edge. So easy it would've been with the shit load of medication within my grasp.

So I have been saved from years of misdeeds. Please don't get me wrong: in fact I'd be seriously pissed off if you did. It was TVs, PCs, WCs or Tracys. It was a small amount here (a STAR WARS figurine...another addiction), some music (back in the day MP3 now 100% vinyl), food (I love to cook. What's more I love to eat...oops), never clothes. I used to spend quite a bit on clothes in New Zealand when I was teaching. Had to really, but was a bit of a fashion victim with l'ex #4. Now I dress like I'm down on the farm. G has been known to be ashamed of me picking hime up from school (never wear crocs on a pick-up mission).

Perhaps I've shared enough for the moment. Feel free to share with me. I'm on to The Two Towers of a Lord of the Rings marathon. 

Always happy chez moi. Always sad chez moi. Voila.

Money in the bank.

There's an awful lot going on chez Greg at the moment:all for the good. My ex-wife surprised me, as she tends to do, by finding a freelance social worker, and what's more paying her. The goal was to get my finances sorted and get my head above water for the first time since our son died, much of which I have been living alone.

I've posted before about the financial difficulties that I have experienced, and many of the reasons why. Despite my best efforts, I was making absolutely no headway, resorting to food banks and then having l'ex paying for my food and petrol. Rather a humiliating experience to be honest. Anyway, I entered in to these meetings with the social worker, with l'ex present at my behest, and her willingness to help, and away we went.

 Well, the social worker was a revelation. We outlined my current position and thern started to get in to specifics. I was so thankful for F being there as a second pair of ears as I find it increasingly hard to concentrate and retain information.

Well, then the paperwork started. For those of you who don't know, the French love their administration. Doing ones paperwork is a national pastime. I am bloody useless at keeping track of it all, so hunting down pay slips, letters, certificates and the like was a bloody big mission.

 We got there though, and to cut a long story short, I have been living on half of what I am entitled to for about five years now! No wonder I was struggling! Likewise, I am going to have someone appointed to manage my finances for me. Not an accountant, but someone who will keep track of my spending (remember I have a spending addiction), allocating a certain sum of money each week or month for food, petrol and the like, and ensuring that all of my bills are paid, particularly my debts. More news to follow on that front: further actions in the pipeline.

It's a tad difficult thinking about someone being in charge of my finances. I am 50 FFS, but maybe, just maybe, I might be able to one day live my dream of putting an off-grid tiny house on a plot of land in Brittany (crikey, coastal would be nice). You never know.

So a huge, heartfelt thanks goes out to my darling ex-wife who initiated the proceedings. She is a true treasure. And many thanks to my social worker who has helped me so much. She will remain a go-to person should I require help with any other administrative stuff.

Things are looking up and my mental health reflects that. What's more, I can now do my own grocery shopping!

RIP Albert Uderzo

RIP Albert Uderzo

Growing old gracefully.

Having turned 50 last October I have a new perspective on life. Suddenly I find myself staring down the barrel of my own mortality. It's rather a strange feeling to be honest. Funnily enough, growing old is rather exciting. That sounds weird doesn't it?

I've lived through some hellish years over the last decade or so. Any of my Twitter readers who happen upon this post will know exactly where I'm coming from. Anyway, I truly believe that I can now make the most of my remaining years and win back some of those lost years. Whether that involves me moving back to New Zealand, or staying here in Brittany, France remains to be seen.

I have plenty of goals and things that I want to do and achieve, although I have yet to sit down and brainstorm them all and get them down on paper. Unfortunately my current financial woes (see previous post) limit many of the things that I want to do. But there are so many free things that you can do I hear you say. Of course, but even having enough money to put petrol in my car is an issue if, for example, I want to go to La Voie Verte for a spot of bike riding. Never mind, going for walks and rides enable me to discover more about my region. I'm trying to remain positive and search regularly for the light at the end of the tunnel, hoping that it will come in to view soon.

Thankfully I like my own company. I currently have no desire to find another partner. I'm damaged goods, so who would want me anyway? You often hear about elderly people being lonely. Of course I'm not elderly. Far from it, but there is just an inkling of self doubt there. Thankfully I'm able to see my son whenever I want, and get on relatively well with my ex-wife (depends very much upon which way the wind's blowing), so I'm not totally alone. I also get to have a chat with my students and get out and about doing my publicity delivery rounds for a day and a half every week. I've also been trying to find a Dungeons and Dragons group to join. I haven't played since I was a teenager, and very little at that. It's something that I've always wanted to do and thought that it would help me meet some new people whilst doing something that I enjoy. No replies to my ads yet though.

Anyway, this old bugger had better pick up his creaky bones, cook me some eggs (couscous actually), and head off to work before it starts pissing down.

Ciao.

Mise à jour.

It's been a while, and this post risks taking a while to write. You never know.

The old brain seems to be going OK, although there are several issues beyond my control that risk setting me back quite considerably. In fact I experienced just that yesterday; I was really down. I need to find a way to fight it before I backslide to the horrible times of several years ago.

Of course the primary concern is my finances. They are beyond dire and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. In fact there has been a rockfall and the tunnel is completely blocked. I have taken on two part-time jobs which enable me to earn some money while not surpassing the allowed earnings limit set by my invalidity allowance. Unfortunately I have to wait six weeks before getting my first pay packet. That leaves me with absolutely, and I mean absolutely, nothing until the beginning of March. I'm scared shitless to be honest. I have no money for petrol in order to be able to get to work. No pay, no petrol FFS.

I'll never be rich. I'll never live the Kiwi dream and own my own house. I'll have the bare minimum pension unless something changes right now which will enable me to get out of this mess and be able to actually save some money. I'm in a hole, seemingly with no way out. One step forward and more than two steps back. I don't know what to do. Alone. Bitter.

I have received another letter from my social worker asking that I be eligable for the food bank for another 3 months. I am very grateful but it is very embarassing to be honest. Unfortunately most of the food, tinned and packet, are well past their use-by date and good only for the bin. The three tins of green beans I received last time had use-by dates in 2017, the cassoulet 2018, ham 6 months ago and so on. I had to bin the majority of the food.

I still have a lot to offer this world, but all of my efforts and energy are going on trying to survive day-to-day. I need a break. A big break and I need it now. 

I'm not sure that I'll post this. It sounds like I'm having a good winge, but it really is the truth of the matter. Maybe the phone will ring with good news today. I live in hope.